Tips to Starting Over After Abuse

helpful_tipsDomestic Violence is a horrible epidemic all over this world. It happens every day, and most times unknowingly. It’s not a Black or White, Indian or Chinese thing, it’s an everybody thing. No one deserves to be hit, yelled at, raped, assaulted, belittled, or anything else that would take away the confidence and self- esteem one has about themselves. It’s just not cool!

I was one who was abused for about three years. I couldn’t tell you how it started, I just know it started. I endured being called names, being robbed, being hit while driving, and even coming close to being stabbed in my spine. So please understand surviving Domestic Violence is to be celebrated as some don’t make it out!

If you are a survivor or know someone, these tips should be just what the doctor ordered to help one start over after abuse.

  1. Forgive Them! – Now I know you are reading this and raising your brows as if I am crazy but hear me out. In order for you to begin the healing process, you have to forgive the one who violated you. It’s not fair, but it will benefit you more than you know. It will prevent you from walking around with a heavy heart and anger that ceases your growth to starting fresh.
  2. Seek Counseling.- When one has been abused it affects SO many different areas in their life and often times they don’t know until something happens to trigger it. By seeking a professional to assist with those underlying issues, you’ll learn to recognize triggers and responses to events clearer.
  3. Tell Your Story! – Just as you went through it, there is another lady and/or man going through it too. When they hear the stories of other survivors, it gives them strength to leave just as you did. Never be ashamed of what you went through, instead embrace it and be empowered to encourage others.
  4. Believe in Yourself! – Stop looking at yourself as a failure. Your past doesn’t qualify you to be a failure; it qualifies you to be a winner! Winners may fail at some things, but they don’t allow those failures to halt their forward movement. I believe your current situation does not determine your end destination. You will get to the other side regardless the path you take.
  5. Live Your Life!– Don’t allow yourself to get caught up in what woulda, shoulda, coulda happened. It happened and it’s unfortunate, but it’s not meant to stop your life. Get back into your hobbies and crafts. Go to the mall, go to the park. Be free! Don’t allow your temporary defeat to prevent you from reaching your destiny.

I pray this has helped you. Be sure to pass it on, bookmark, and save for future reference.

Much Love,

Paula

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